I was holding this really exemplary radish in my hand.
I was admiring its shape and size and color. I was imagining
its zesty, biting taste. And when I listened, I even thought
I could hear it singing. It was unlike anything I had ever
heard, perhaps an oriental woman from a remote mountain village
singing to her rabbit. She's hiding in a cave, and night has
fallen. Her parents had decided to sell her to the evil prince.
And he and his thousand soldiers were searching for her everywhere.
She trembled in the cold and held the rabbit to her cheek. She
whispered the song in a high, thin voice, like a reed swaying
by itself on a bank above a river. The rabbit's large, brown ears
stood straight up, not wanting to miss a word. Then I dropped
the radish into my basket and moved down the aisle. The store
was exceptionally crowded, due to the upcoming holiday. My cart
jostled with the others. Sometimes it pretended we were in a cock-
fight, a little cut here, some bleeding. Now the advantage is mine.
I jump up and spur the old lady, who's weak and ready to fall.
I spot a mushroom I really want. It's within reach. You could
search all day and never find a mushroom like that. I could smell
it sizzling in butter and garlic. I could taste it garnishing my
steak. Suddenly, my cart is rammed and I'm reeling for my balance.
I can't even see who the enemy is. Then I'm hit again and I'm
sprawling up against the potatoes. I've been separated from my
cart. I look around desperately. "Have you seen my cart?" I ask
a man dressed in lederhosen and an alpine hat. "I myself have
misplaced my mother's ashes. How could I know anything about your
cart?" he said. "I'm sorry to hear about your mother," I said.
"Was it sudden, or was it a long, slow, agonizing death, where
you considered killing her yourself just to put her out of her pain?"
"Is that your cart with the radish in it?" he said. "Oh, yes,
thank you, thank you a thousand times over, I can't thank you
enough," I said. "Schmuck," he said. The mushroom of my dreams,
of course, was long gone, and the others looked sickly, like they
were meant to kill you, so I forged on past the kohlrabi and
parsnips. I hesitated at the okra. A flood of fond memories
overcame me. I remembered Tanya and her tiny okra, so firm and
tasty, one Christmas long ago. There was a fire in the fireplace
and candlelight, music, and the crunch, crunch, crunch of the okra.
I have never been able to touch okra since that sacred day.
We were in the Klondike, or so it seemed to me then. Tanya had
a big dog, and it ate the roast, and we had a big laugh, but now
I don't think it's funny. I remember the smell of that roast,
as if it were cooking this very minute, and I can see Tanya
bending over to check on it. How did we ever get out of there
alive? and what happened to Tanya? I look around, peaches and
plums. I'm buffeted from behind. "Watch it," I say to no one in
particular. Eight eyes are glaring at me. "I'm moving," I say.
But I can't move. The rabbit says, "Tonight we will meet our
death, but it will be beautiful and we will be brave and not
afraid. You will sing to me and I will close my eyes and dream
of a garden where we will play under the starlight, and that's
where the story ends. with me munching a radish and you laughing."
I can't move," I said.
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