It's post A Levels, and my grades simply won't cut it for local universities, it's just devastating because I took an additional year in my JC and still got shitty grades. At least now, I've stopped resenting my horrendous choice in subject combination, and on the way, come to discover what i really love (or rather have a better idea of it)- definitely not science NONONO argh the terror! something along the lines of communications studies and english/world literature maybe? But the feeling of being left behind while everyone is moving forward in their lives depresses me. I've always thought of going on a graduation trip around the world with my close friends, but that dream was dashed after i stayed behind a year while they graduated from JC. now it looks i'm gonna spent another buffer year again.
And it's not just them, even those who graduated with me and got As and Bs, i'm really envious of them. I didn't deserve to get an E at all, i've studied after all and it's not like i'm stupid! and to quote my cousin, "E is for people who did not study at all or just stupid." Reality is harsh but i've always thought i was prepared to face it, but sometimes it's just the passing insensitive remarks from your loved ones that hurts me so much. And more often than not, you can never be ready for them.
It's never easy and sometimes it's amazing how life unfolds. I'm exploring the options of going overseas (Aussie or USA) to study now, but Aussie seems to be the more afforable choice, yet USA seems to be a better academic and life choice. From my calculations, if i were to go USA to pursue a comm degree, i would have to eat bread everyday for every meal. And that is if i worked part time there! oh decisions! decisions! decisions!
Someday, you'll see, i'm gonna be an editor (or close to it) and i'll save enough money and enroll into le cordon bleu (my childhood dream) and set up a chic cafe! =D
